Author: Alexander Hay

Alexander Hay is a writer and polemicist based online and in print.

Septic September Metal Mania (The Sword, Cattle Decapitation, Ahab)

Album reviews whilst throwing a basket of kittens into an industrial shredder in the name of Hamas and Communism...

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Thundering Underdogs and Bubblegum Cool (Skyforger Interview)

When we write our songs, we don’t really care if the riff is heavy metal, thrash or death or black metal or whatever, we just care if it sounds good. Skyforger interview...

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Monthly Metal and Melancholy Menace : Cradle of Filth, Orchid….

This is probably Cradle of Filth 's best album in a while, being neither immediately accessible (and so disposable) or opaquely impenetrable (and so rubbish)....

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Why David Cameron is a Massive Loser

Cameron is so indebted to so many people, it's hard to actually say he's 'won' anything....

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Jam in the middle of Wasp Season. Live Metal [Skyforger]

Meanwhile, the other venue in the side street had a light tank parked outside it. This was the metaller equivalent of a large open jar of jam in the middle of Wasp Season....

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Pre Election Metal Meanderings [Arcturus] [Skyforger] [Plage]

What more could you want from a black metal album? Arson? Murder? Goat-shagging???...

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Despair, evil, murder and suicide. Monthly Metal Medley

This is like rolling a natural 20 in a particularly bleak game of D&D. You’ve lucked out, and the Gods do smile upon thee, which is certainly a step up from most weeks when it’s more like an...

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The Man Who Brought Fantasy to the Masses [Terry Pratchett Eulogy]

dropcap style=”font-size:100px; color:#992211;”I/dropcapt is fitting that Terry Pratchett, who did so much with the written word, will now have acres upon acres of column inches dedicated...

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Amon Amarth, Huntress and Savage Messiah: 1865, Southampton [Live]

Moshers dropping to the floor and rowing like they were in a longboat, because it's not metal without irony.......

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Monthly Metal Mixup [Venom, Wells Valley, Olam EIn Sof]

It may not be ground-breaking but it’s great fun and it doesn’t put a foot wrong...

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Nuanced Chuckles with Charlie Hebdo : Free Speech and the Freedom to Complain

You can make your case and express your view, but riling up the worst elements and trolling isn’t free speech; it’s just being an antisocial jerk....

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Conan : Camden Underworld [Live]

A gig fuelled by what might best be termed dark psychedelia (or doom metal and its many sub-varieties)...

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Manami Mogg’s Metal Medley

This is the proverbial bollocks, with an utter mastery of brutality and method in equal measure....

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Centinex Vs Kong Vs 1349

1349: This is, in fact, the hellhound’s very own knackers...

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Ebola : A Dog’s Life For Us All

Destroying Excalibur the dog doesn’t bode well for how our governments will respond if there is a major Ebola outbreak outside of Africa....

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Mental Metal Music Mash

It is the time of year for disappointments, and – one notable exception notwithstanding – that’s exactly what we’ve got here...

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Why Guardians of the Galaxy Sucked

They’ve made a successful film; the least they can do is follow up with a good one....

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Israel and Gaza : Same Old, Same Old

Extremism needs dysfunction to flower...

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Entrails Vs King of Asgard Vs Secret Cutter

Metal is a means of escape, perhaps even transcendence; its extremity allowing an explosion of raw passion and primal emotions...

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NILE [Live]

Egyptian mythology-themed death metallers NILE get necrotic in Southampton....

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Finntroll (and Friends). [Album Reviews]

The album is perhaps best seen as an intro to the band’s early to mid era - all polkas, accordia, kazoos, strange insect noises and trolls (lots of trolls)....

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Of Old Gits and Hamsters’ Arses

Farage and Co. are not a bold rejection of the old order – they’re simply extreme expressions of it...

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Bis versus Cradle of Filth

The quality and hooks build themselves up with subtle but sinister precision....

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Conan : The Lost Interview

'You can play everything louder at a show than you can on an iPod' Conan's guitarist and vocalist on priorities....

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Tori Amos : Unrepentant Geraldines

Striking a balance between vivid imagery and staying the right side of the absurdity barrier. Her lyrics might be colourful, but they are never lurid....

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T.O.M.B Versus Pilgrim Versus The Unholy

All of a sudden, what had been sinister, suggestive and harsh starts sounding instead like some bloke making funny 'WURRRRGH!' and clanging noises in a recording studio. ...

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Conan : Blood Eagle

Devastation bleeding from the speakers....

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Caliban versus Slough Feg versus Nocturnal Breed

It’s immature, it’s juvenile and it will never, ever grow up. ...

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Charlie Brooker is Rubbish – A Meditation

Brooker’s nosedive into Planet Shite was neither inevitable nor certain. We all get older, but we don’t have to get old....

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Night Sins : To London or The Lake

Some riffs threaten to have hooks, some abstract intimation of catchiness seeps into the choruses. Tiny hints of distinctiveness begin to echo through like squeaks from a hamster in an aircraft....

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