| Art

Trace Elements: Commercial Breakdown

A commercial break on Pick TV has just made me question the way that I’m living life.

And not in a “It’s Saturday night and I’m sitting here on my own watching Pick TV” kind of way. I’ve grown used to that. With this…

First up was a furniture store commercial. Now, people in those ads always look like they’re so relishing their sitting experience. Don’t they? I’m not much of a relisher. Ask any of my friends, and not one of them will ever have heard me say “Hey, look over here, I’m relishing.” And that is particularly true when it comes to sitting. I just sit. Always have. But evidently I’m under-doing something on the chair.

Now, in this furniture place, the ad people – some of them were laughing, others chilling, one I noticed was reading Chat magazine. A couple on a “price slashed” sofa looked like they were having the actual time of their lives. I think it was mauve.

Maybe that’s where I’ve been going wrong. I chose fudge from the swatches. Thought it wouldn’t show up all the marks.

So at sitting, I’m getting it wrong. And it seems too, with wearing jeans.

The guys in that commercial were bungee jumping down a canyon in their jeans, looking all rugged and manly. While I was just sitting there in mine – same brand – watching from my fudge chair, unruggedly thinking “Maybe I’m adding too much Lenor.”

It was those cats on next. You know, the ones with the opposable thumbs? I’m definitely doing less with my thumbs than they are.

I wonder if they ever click their remotes to Pick TV?

Read more of James McConachie's Trace Elements every Tuesday.


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