I used to live across the street from Hamburger University, where McDonalds teach staff the innermost secrets of the McMuffin, Happy Meals and Going Large. Unusually for a seat of learning, it was perched above a busy Drive-Thru. I never did see any graduation caps being thrown up outside.
My present day neighbour’s an exhibition centre, which classifies the road I’m on as part of its “campus”. Again, no real students to be seen, apart from those who come dressed as Darth Vader to its annual Comic-Con.
I was invited once to an actual university for dinner, in Cambridge. My train from London was severely delayed, and when I did eventually arrive that wintry night, all the students were queuing outside the building – barred from entering until the guest (me) went inside.
That was not a happy meal.