Tickets : £10 on the door only

A special concert to celebrate the launch of Nerve Cell_0, a collaboration between Zbigniew Karkowski and Anton Lukoszevieze on the Subrosa label. Nerve Cell_0 was commissioned by Sound and Music and EMS. 

ZBIGNIEW KARKOWSKI 

Zbigniew Karkowski is one of the most influential electronic music composers working today. Linking the worlds of modern composition and industrial music he is a pivotal figure in the development of advanced noise. Constantly on the road, he is a frequent performer on the geographical fringes of experimental music culture as well as a mainstay on the established festival circuit. This is Zbigniew’s debut performance at Café Oto. 

Zbigniew Karkowski on wikipedia 



ANTON LUKOSZEVIEZE 

Cellist Anton Lukoszevieze is one of the most diverse performers of his generation and is notable for his performances of avant-garde, experimental and improvised music. He is unique in the UK through his use of the curved bow (BACH-Bogen), which he is using to develop new repertoire for the cello. Anton is the subject of several films by the renowned artist-filmmaker Jayne Parker and he is also a member of Zeitkratzer. In June 2009 he was awarded the ‘Millennium Star’ medal, for services to Lithuanian culture, by the Government of the Republic of Lithuania.

Anton Lukoszevieze website 

RYAN JORDAN Ryan Jordan (born Ipswich, 1983) is a UK based electronic artist working with self-made instruments and tools for live interactive performance. His work is focused on movement and the physicality in live electronic performance, noise and underground music, hypnosis and trance states, DIY culture, FLOSSArt, and illusion. 

Ryan Jordan website 

Sound and Music website
NNNN website
EMS Stockholm

Why are men generally more reluctant to try vegetarian products? According to a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research, consumers are influenced by a strong association of meat with masculinity.

"We examined whether people in Western cultures have a metaphoric link between meat and men," write authors Paul Rozin (University of Pennsylvania), Julia M. Hormes (Louisiana State University), Myles S. Faith (University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill), and Brian Wansink (Cornell University). The answer, they found, was a strong connection between eating meat—especially muscle meat, like steak—and masculinity.

In a number of experiments that looked at metaphors and certain foods, like meat and milk, the authors found that people rated meat as more masculine than vegetables. They also found that meat generated more masculine words when people discussed it, and that people viewed male meat eaters as being more masculine than non-meat eaters.

Most of the studies took place in the United States and Britain, but the authors also analyzed 23 languages that use gendered pronouns. They discovered that across most languages, meat was related to the male gender.

"To the strong, traditional, macho, bicep-flexing, All-American male, red meat is a strong, traditional, macho, bicep-flexing, All-American food," the authors write. "Soy is not. To eat it, they would have to give up a food they saw as strong and powerful like themselves for a food they saw as weak and wimpy."

If marketers or health advocates want to counteract such powerful associations, they need to address the metaphors that shape consumer attitudes, the authors explain. For example, an education campaign that urges people to eat more soy or vegetables would be a tough sell, but reshaping soy burgers to make them resemble beef or giving them grill marks might help cautious men make the transition.

"In marketing, understanding the metaphor a consumer might have for a brand could move the art of positioning toward more of a science," the authors conclude.

Source: University of Chicago Press Journals
 

May 17th - LONDON, 12 Bar Club (Denmark Street, London WC2.)
£6 Bookings: 020 7240 2622

Grandparents, cleaners, and clucky plump aquaintances have all been press ganged to oversee pop-up concen-creches, as paunchy thirty-somethings force earrings through closed holes and improvise youth by half-masting slacks with ragged scissors. 

It's dangerously close to parody... but I'll probably be there.

If only to wave a placard decrying the lack of Neds Atomic Dustbin in a less oversized tanktop devoted to Carter USM.

THE WONDER STUFF

This West Midlands-based band gained a significant following in the late 1980s with two critically acclaimed albums, 'The Eight Legged Groove Machine' and 'Hup'. Mainstream chart success followed with their third album in 1991, which included the hits 'The Size of a Cow', and 'Dizzy' performed with Vic Reeves. The band split in 1994, but after a seven year sabbatical, they reformed and continue to play their old numbers, along with new material.

See more info at www.thewonderstuff.com

POP WILL EAT ITSELF (PWEI)

Following reunion tours from fellow Stourbridge bands Ned's Atomic Dustbin and The Wonder Stuff, 2005 saw the Poppies back on patrol for the first time in nearly a decade. In 2011 the band re-formed again, with a new line-up that includes original band member Graham Crabb and co-vocalist Mary Byker from fellow grebos Gaye Bykers on Acid.

See more info at www.facebook.com/popwilleatitself

JESUS JONES

90s indie-starlets, whose short time in the spotlight with their bouncy indie-electronica produced a string of UK hits - Real Real Real, International Bright Young Thing' - and a US number 1 with Right Here, Right Now. No, honestly, it's true.

(Trebuchet has never had a lot of time for this band - so more NADs)

See more info at www.jesusjones.com

Tickets go on sale on the 18th of May for the London show.

The Wonder Stuff + Pop Will Eat Itself (PWEI) + Jesus Jones
O2 Shepherds Bush Empire, London
Wednesday 19th December 2012

Sweeping cobwebs from the edges of my mind
Had to get away to see what we could find
Hope the days that lie ahead
Bring us back to where they've led
Listen not to what's been said to you

Crosby Stills and Nash - 'Marrakech Express'

All images: Nicola Anthony

Nicola Anthony is an artist and art writer living & working in London. She seeks to discover things which make her mind crackle with creative thought. Catch @Nicola_Anthony on twitter, or her artist’s website

You come off of a tour, and you have ideas of what you found yourself enjoy playing over the last years. It felt good when people would dance. We tried to turn that into a record, to emphasize that. But there’s still an absolute need to take the pop song and ruin it....

Bear in Heaven's Adam Wills, speaking about the Brooklyn trio's album I Love You, It's Cool

Ruining pop songs but making people dance? Sounds like the best bet is to catch them live. Dates/venues:

16-May     London             Hoxton Bar & Grill
17-May     Brighton           Green Door Store
18-May     Liverpool           Liverpool Sound City
19-May     Glasgow           Stag & Dagger
20-May     Manchester      Soup Kitchen
22-May     Leeds               Brudenell Social Club
23-May     Bristol               Louisiana

Wednesday 16th May 2012

Door Times : 8pm

Tickets : £8 advance / £10 on the door

Be Prepared for... 

A WHISPER IN THE NOISE 

West Thordson's project combines unusual instrumentation to create washes of haze and prettiness, reminiscent of early 4AD or the Kramer produced Low records. Their's was one of the stand out performances when picked by Shellac's Steve Albini to play ATP back in 2004. The BBC says of the new album 'To Forget' "[there] is an intrinsic beauty shot through each and every piece. There are moments on All My and Your Hand, and the delicate piano instrumental Maya’s Song, where time around the listener just… stops." 

A Whisper In The Noise on myspace 



MAX BONDI 

Machines are coaxed into warm, soothing, percussive, electronica. Often abstract, but engaging, Max's second album was a recent 'Album of the Week' on boomkat.com. This will be his first solo live performance. 

Tartaruga Records website 

QUINTA 

Layering countless instruments to create a timeless sepia folk world. 

Main tour dates are in May, but there are a couple of London appearances before kickoff, performing an in-store at Rough Trade East on 29th February - where ‘Tramp’ is album of the month, - as well as a show at  CARGO on 1st March.

Her new single 'Leonard' is out now.

Presumably, sucking it straight out of the reptile's mouth would put them off supper too.

'"This is both unknown and quite unexpected effect," comments an enthusiastic Karolina Skibicka:'

It's not surprising she's enthusiastic, as food scientists all know that anything even remotely linked to weight loss is instant paydirt. Even if it means chasing lizards with a Q-Tip.

A drug made from the saliva of the Gila monster lizard is effective in reducing the craving for food. Researchers at the Sahlgrenska Academy, University of Gothenburg, have tested the drug on rats, who after treatment ceased their cravings for both food and chocolate.

An increasing number of patients suffering from type 2 diabetes are offered a pharmaceutical preparation called Exenatide, which helps them to control their blood sugar. The drug is a synthetic version of a natural substance called exendin-4, which is obtained from a rather unusual source – the saliva of the Gila monster lizard (Heloderma suspectum), North America's largest lizard.

Researchers at the Sahlgrenska Academy at the University of Gothenburg, have now found an entirely new and unexpected effect of the lizard substance.

In a study with rats published in the Journal of Neuroscience, Assistant Professor Karolina Skibicka and her colleagues show that exendin-4 effectively reduces the cravings for food.

The implications of the findings are significant" states Suzanne Dickson, Professor of Physiology at the Sahlgrenska Academy: "Most dieting fails because we are obsessed with the desire to eat, especially tempting foods like sweets. As exendin-4 suppresses the cravings for food, it can help obese people to take control of their weight," suggests Professor Dickson.

Another hypothesis for the Gothenburg researchers' continuing studies is that exendin-4 may be used to reduce the craving for alcohol.

"It is the same brain regions which are involved in food cravings and alcohol cravings, so it would be very interesting to test whether exendin-4 also reduces the cravings for alcohol," suggests Assistant Professor Skibicka.

Source: University of Gothenburg

Statement on Upcoming Black Sabbath Shows

Dear Sabbath Fans and Fellow Musicians,

I sincerely regret to inform you that after a final effort to participate in the upcoming Sabbath shows a failure to agree has continued. At this time I have to inform you that I won’t be playing with Black Sabbath at the Birmingham gig dated May 19th, 2012, nor will I be playing at Download on June 10th, 2012. Further, I will not be playing at Lollapalooza on August 3, 2012.

It is with a very sad heart that I bring you this news. I am sincerely passionate in my desire to play with the band, and I’m very, very sorry that it’s fallen to this. This statement is even more painstaking to write, as I was particularly excited to play alongside Tony Iommi after the recent treatments he underwent. I wanted that to become a reality.

To express my thoughts about you, the Sabbath fans, I’m going to speak to you all through an experience my brother James had recently. My brother Jimmy lives in the U.K. When speaking with him a couple of days ago, he told me that an acquaintance had stopped him on the street and confronted him, “is your brother playing Birmingham? What’s going on? I waited in line with my son and paid x amount for the concert tickets.”

The man’s son is a young drummer. He’s going to see Sabbath, and he wants to see Bill Ward play drums. Upon hearing this news, I felt horrible. I couldn’t help feeling some resentment towards the failure to reach an agreement, the failure to remember where we came from, the failure to be as brothers, as we once were. To be clear, I’m not blaming the other guys or finding any faults with them. I would think it can’t be easy for them either, but this situation is just really sad. It’s sad that it’s come to this. “This” will surely leave a mark and be unwelcome to the memory. Hopefully “this” will heal and pass in time.

My heart sank when Jimmy told me about this young boy. I know this boy is going to be disappointed, and I don’t know how to amend it, other than to put my arms around the boy and tell him I love him. Sabbath fans have a voice and a face, to me you’re human, you have families and despair. You have ferocity and emotions and graciousness, and at this moment as far as I’m concerned you are also that young boy in England. I don’t know how to amend my part in these failings other than to put my arms around you and say I love you and let you know I’m very, very sorry.

Throughout this process, which began over a year ago, I have had to stand up for myself time and time again. I have had to stand up for myself and in doing so realize my actions indirectly, although unintentionally, are upsetting and hurting a lot of you. I know in my heart I couldn’t have done these concerts by agreeing the terms suggested. I made a solemn vow after the last European and Ozzfest concerts that I would never again enter into what was, in my opinion, a totally unsatisfactory contract. I have to stand for something, and as painful as it is, I’m doing it.

Earlier in April 2012, I’d been asked to participate “minimally” in the Download festival. I believe I’d been offered no more than three songs to play while another drummer presumably played the rest of the show with Black Sabbath. I was not willing to participate in that offer. I was not prepared to watch another drummer play a Sabbath set, while I was to play only three songs.

I found out about the Birmingham gig on Monday, April 30 through the Internet ad. I was taken aback somewhat by the date, and the fact it was Birmingham. Knowing the “signable” contract negotiations were at best in shreds, I was upset by the idea that the band was going to play Birmingham and play it assumedly without me. I had no prior knowledge of the date and location, and I felt totally excluded. We contacted the representative for Black Sabbath to see if something could be worked out. In the meantime my drum crew and I, along with our US endorsers, finished all the necessary planning for a swift departure to the UK. There wasn’t a whole lot to complete; we’d all been on standby more or less since mid-January 2012. The remaining work in the UK was confirmed done by our European and UK endorsers and we were good to go by Friday, May 4 2012. There were two stress points: firstly, getting an agreement in place, and secondly, getting to England in a timely manner. Jetlag time was taken into account as well as drum practice, a drum practice room in the heart of Birmingham, accommodation, and travel arrangements were all in place to meet with any band rehearsals that may have transpired before the Birmingham show. So far everything that had been arranged was on my dime, but we didn’t move ahead without a realistic confirmation.

Communications between the representative and my lawyer continued through the weekend of May 5 finalizing on Wednesday, May 9. The offer we received on May 9 was, “come to the UK, play for free and see how the first show goes.” I was tempted. Playing for free would not have been a problem for me, but “seeing how the first show goes” left an element of risk which could have affected Download. My ideal thought was to play in full the Birmingham show, in full Download, and in full Lollapalooza.

I had notified the representative that May 10 was my cutoff day in order to have good lead-in time for England. On the night of May 9 I asked for a brief letter to be sent to the representative asking to find out if we were at an end. On the morning of Thursday, May 10, I received a reply in the affirmative. After consulting with my advisors and crew a decision was made to let go and stop.

I can’t prioritize the Sabbath fans making one show more important than the other. I can’t do that. All of you are important. It’s all the gigs or none at all. I can’t come to Birmingham and “see what happens” knowing there is a risk of not being able to play Download or Lollapalooza. Again, for me, it’s all or nothing. I had to say “no” to Birmingham on the principle of wanting to play all the shows. Saying no to Birmingham is very difficult for me. My family grew up in Birmingham. Black Sabbath grew up in Birmingham. It’s still my hometown and I resent having to arrive at such a difficult choice.

Although the statement was made that, “the door is always open” for me, as explained above, walking through that door is not always as easy as it sounds. There are many complicated issues and unseen and unspoken agendas on hand. I can assure you, my criteria for a “signable” contract is based in mindful principles, respectability, and acknowledgement of my history within the band.

I hold no malice or resentment towards the other band members. I love them; I’m tolerant of them; I’m frustrated with them, as they may be with me. My fight has never been with them. I’ll love them forever. In my opinion, nobody wins this time; the band doesn’t win; the fans for an original lineup don’t win. Nobody wins, nobody. Even the ones who thought they did.

I didn’t want to make this decision, but I have to be honest and transparent. This is the statement I didn’t want to write; it’s the last thing I wanted to do. But, I have written it, and now it can go into the universe.

Since Spring of 2011, I’ve waited patiently and hopefully for a signable contract, you know the rest. I stand for the boy in the U.K., for the coming drum student, for all the drummers, who write their parts out and get stiffed on the publishing, I stand with the Sabbath fans chanting “Bill Ward” and asking “why?” and I stand with Tony and Geezer and Ozzy.

On a final note, even though I’m at an end with the upcoming announced concerts, I will remain with an open mind and a position of willingness to negotiate “signable” terms with Sabbath’s representatives in the future.

Stay strong.
Stay safe.

With all my heart and strength, I love you,
Bill Ward

MSI have confirmed that they will be returning to the UK in October 2012 for a run of dates to include shows in Manchester, Glasgow, Birmingham and London. Mindless Self Indulgence tickets will go on general sale at 9am on Friday 18th May and will be available from www.ticketmaster.co.uk or www.livenation.co.uk 

On their current month-long tour, MSI are whipping crowds into a furious riot in cities across America with their heart-pounding electro-punk and Jimmy Urine's subversive and hilariously cruel between-song rants. In a move that will please long-time fans and newbies alike, MSI are playing sets packed with crowd favorites and rare gems pulled from their entire song catalog spanning over 10 years. With sold-out shows in New York City, Chicago, and Toronto, Canada, to name a few, it's clear that their absence from the world of music has only intensified the cries of fans eager for their return.

Watch out United Kingdom... Jimmy Urine warns of plans afoot to return overseas and wreak havoc on the eardrums of the innocent!

Mindless Self Indulgence

October 2012

Thursday 25th Manchester, Academy 3

Friday 26th Glasgow, The Garage

Saturday 27th Birmingham, O2 Academy 2

Sunday 28th London, HMV Forum

Mindless Self Indluence tickets go on-sale 9am on Friday 18th May priced at £15.00 regionally and £16.50 for London (subject to booking fee) and are available from www.livenation.co.uk

It's not every day the Goblin King throws a ball, but when he does, say hello. There's a theatre of creatures just waiting to make your acquaintance.

In the Old Vic tunnels buried beneath the lines of Waterloo station, something unearthly, something very Middle-Earthly recently reared its head. For one night only, I was a guest of the Goblin King and his Theatre of Trolls – a ball of masks, dresses, disfigurement and decadence.

On first stepping into the dark and high-walled tunnels, I was greeted by two immoveable figures, clutching clubs. Two falcon-headed beasts in armour, the closest with breasts exposed. I was at once seduced and repulsed. Was this she-creature living or dead? Her stillness gave her authority, and her coldness too. I wanted to touch her, but dared not.
Was this how the night would proceed? Mixing dread with temptation? I moved on, sure I would return to see if and how she had moved. If she was living or dead.

The wretched, the beautiful, the horned-nosed and sweet-bosomed soon strutted and strolled before me. A black corseted ram-headed man with collar nodded to make my
acquaintance. More alive than the guards, he flirted with a trio of dashing ladies from Marie Antoinette's court, though all deathly looking, and took their hands as they rubbed his ample fur. This was no ordinary ball.

the horned-nosed and sweet-bosomed

Before long, trolls, faeries, goblins – every possible creature of lore had passed before me. Tolkien and Lewis would've been proud. In a cobbled court, a stocks served to hold
a jester, while his mistress beat his behind to the delight of all gathered. A man in military uniform soon offered me champagne. A gift he told me. I took his glass, and watched him dance with his pixie friend by a circle of elves.

Everyone revelled in their otherworldliness, their dress, the phantasmagoria surrounding them. In the same vein as the guardians I'd met on entering, everyone gathered was straddling the lines of horror and beauty. The angels were stained, the faeries were blackened. The brides wore torn dresses, while the grooms sported horns. For those craving the sensual, there was going to be a dance with death too.

With the ball in full swing, the most outrageous creatures were gathered to receive their crowns. Puppets and words scaled the stage, before an all-out throwback soundtrack
kicked off to keep us dancing until the early hours.

a ram-headed man and a handful of pixies

As with anything in life, the most extraordinary can become the most ordinary thing in the world. And there were moments when dancing with a ram-headed man and a handful of pixies seemed absolutely natural. But this was the Goblin King's Ball. It was supposed to be like this, wasn't it?

On leaving, I found a hall of busts. Somehow I'd missed it on arrival. And now they were here to crown my night: a series of scalped, elongated, twisted, alien heads with
cigarette holders and over-sized eyes. And as before, the guardians were there. The she-creature was there. Still she was fixed, and still I couldn't tell. Better not to touch. Better to remember the beasts, the lure, and return another year. For the Goblin King's Theatre of Trolls will surely return.

In the meantime though, the magic and devilry of that night may play within me, and inspire a little happy madness of my own.

The Goblin King's Theatre of Trolls Annual Masquerade Ball can be found at  www.goblin-king.co.uk

Images: BonnieMakesPictures & Paul Raggity

The space will be reimagined as a part gallery showcasing London’s world-renowned creative talent, and part shop selling a specially sourced and curated selection of rare and one off items – from clothing to furniture and scent to food. A programme of talks, events and interactive workshops led by eminent experts and rising stars on the cultural scene will run alongside, including a series of walks to introduce visitors to Seven Dials and its environs.

Sex and Death features collections of fine art, photography, ceramics, jewellery, textiles, sculpture and printmaking displayed and sold alongside unique and coveted fashion and furniture pieces. Contemporary works by artists such as Nobuyoshi Araki sit alongside ancient objects, exploring a range of themes connected with notions of sexuality, fertility and the afterlife. Incorporating the innovative designs of Corrie Nielsen’s dresses and Petra Storrs set-designs, the exhibition showcases the very best of contemporary British design next to original furniture and accessories. 

Mirrored walls, elaborate spring decorations, a richly ornate bed placed beneath a cascading floral chandelier transform the space into a reality of old and new. Rails of vintage couture gowns will provide the narrative of the transition from the mourning attire of a bygone age into the sexy Little Black Dress that is the staple of the modern woman’s wardrobe.

Talks and workshops will resonate with the rich history of the Seven Dials and Covent Garden area, offering up a Sex and Death approach to dance, fashion and the infamous personalities of the area. Events include (could be subject to change) ‘The Art of Perfumery -Dirty Perfume’, ‘A history of Casanova’, magical story telling for adults, film screenings, designers and styling masterclasses and a curated supper. 

The Sex and Death project is a collaboration between avante garde art and design curators Guts for Garters, and Fox & Squirrel, who are known for their eye for hidden treasures discovered through their popular arts, fashion and vintage lifestyle walks and events. Sex and Death will showcase the best of British talent in a truly mesmerising and unique display making it a destination for serious art lovers and collectors through to the culturally curious.

http://www.gutsforgarters.com/themes.php?e=1337097600

http://www.foxandsquirrel.com/

Jazz, consort-music, free/improv, Scottish folk, psych/noise, medieval, baroque and pop influences do not so much compete as synthesise in various ways across the record. Traditional song structure and lyrical arcs manage somehow to anchor themselves to constantly surprising, unpredictable and virtuosic contrapuntal guitar work, always playing at/with the threshold of sonic experimentation and improvisation.
 

Eric Chenaux "Put In Music" from Constellation Records on Vimeo.

Playing on 15th May in London's Lexington with his Constellation label-mates Esmerine, Cheneaux will also perform in London at the Gallery Cafe on 16 May.

BLOODSTOCK OPEN AIR has announced a further three acts for the SOPHIE stage at this years festival.

Returning to CATTON HALL, WITCHSORROW threaten the British summer time with downtuned doom and gloom that echoes metal greats such as St Vitus, Candlemass and Trouble. Says mainman Necro Skull:

"We are truly honoured to be returning to cast a shadow over Bloodstock once more. We promise you total doom annihilation, a celebration for the damned as the end of the world looms at the end of this wretched annum. To be in the company of such excellent bands as Watain, Alice Cooper, Orange Goblin, Grand Magus and Winterfylleth is a grand thing indeed.  God curse us, every one!"

Returning for the second year in a row, London loud-louts DRIPBACK take a break from the studio to come back to the SOPHIE stage with their seething mix of hardcore and death metal.

“For us it’s all about being intense in tents, so this really is the perfect festival slot for Dripback. We’re all so buzzing about playing with CROWBAR, HATEBREED, TESTAMENT and all the other awesome bands, this really is the best festival.”

Finally, Swiss thrashers BATTALION make their UK debut at BLOODSTOCK. The Thrash Maniacs check in to say:

“It's the first time for us to play in England! What a fucking start! We're looking forward to kick some ass there!!! See ya Bloodstock!!!

Cheers from Zurich, the Battalion-Bastards”

BLOODSTOCK OPEN AIR 2012 takes place at Catton Hall August 9th – 12th. Tickets are available from www.bloodstock.uk.com

 Line Up So Far:

RONNIE JAMES DIO STAGE

ALICE COOPER

MYSTERY HEADLINER REVEALED 6/6/6pm

BEHEMOTH

ANVIL – WATAIN - PARADISE LOST - DIMMU BORGIR - HATEBREED - CORROSION OF CONFORMITY - SANCTUARY - GRAND MAGUS - THE BLACK DAHLIA MURDER - DEICIDE - NILE – MAYHEM – LOCK UP – SEPULTURA – ICED EARTH - TESTAMENT - CHTHONIC - DIO DISCIPLES – CROWBAR – BENEDICTION – I AM I – MOONSORROW – FREEDOM CALL

SOPHIE LANCASTER STAGE in association with Last.FM

ALCEST - ORANGE GOBLIN - ANAAL NATHRAKH

EVILE - MARIONETTE - FURYON - DEMONIC RESURRECTION – HEADCHARGER – WINTERFYLLETH – ANCIENT ASCENDANT - EASTERN FRONT - PYTHIA - PRIMITAI - CRIMES OF PASSION - DERISION - BLOODSHOT DAWN - RE ARMED – SATURNIAN – WITCHSORROW – DRIPBACK – BATTALION

NEW BLOOD STAGE

GONE TIL WINTER – HURON - FALLEN FATE - REIGN OF FURY – DREAMCATCHER - REFLECTIONS IN EXILE - INFERNAL CREATION

www.bloodstock.uk.com

No, seriously. 'Ovulation goggles', in a proper, academic press release. Thanks to research conducted by Kristina Durante (assistant professor at The University of Texas at San Antonio (UTSA) College of Business), you can add that phrase to your lexicon of women-related, too-many-details concepts.

Kristina, bless her, has added to the folk-wisdom phrase 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen' with a detailed  study on exactly why and when women are more sexually attracted to 'sexy bad boys' (her phrase). Undoubtedly, this will do much to progress the plight of mistreated women across the world, plug the pay gap and eradicate gender discrimination.

Or maybe not.

"Previous research has shown in the week near ovulation women become attracted to sexy, rebellious and handsome men like George Clooney or James Bond," said Durante. "But until now it was unclear why women would ever think it's wise to pursue long-term relationships with these kinds of men."

And the men reading this now are all stroking their chins and thinking 'yeah, we were all bad and sexy before the long-term relationship'.

Durante did two studies. In the first study women viewed online dating profiles of either a sexy man or a reliable man during periods of both high and low fertility. Participants were asked to indicate the expected paternal contribution from the men if they had a child together based on how helpful the man would be caring for the baby, shopping for food, cooking and contributing to household chores.

Near ovulation women thought that the sexy man would contribute more to these domestic duties.

"Under the hormonal influence of ovulation, women delude themselves into thinking that the sexy bad boys will become devoted partners and better dads," explained Durante. "When looking at the sexy cad through ovulation goggles, Mr. Wrong looked exactly like Mr. Right."

Once again, the men reading are now muttering something under their breath along the lines of 'yeah, after she's neutered him'.

In another study women interacted directly with male actors who played the roles of sexy cad and reliable dad once during ovulation and again at low fertility. Again, ovulating women thought that the sexy cad—but not the reliable dad—would contribute more to childcare, but only if she were his partner.

"When asked about what kind of father the sexy bad boy would make if he were to have children with another woman, women were quick to point out the bad boy's shortcomings," said Durante. "But when it came to their own child, ovulating women believed that the charismatic and adventurous cad would be a great father to their kids."

Filling in that Gaydar profile never looked so tempting.

Source: University of Texas at San Antonio College of Business

Without even mentioning their music, how you react to Vengeance and the Panther Queen will have a great deal to do with your tolerance for enforced artschool uber-irony and the kind of absurdist anarcho-wacky posturing that was probably just as fetch-me-my-revolver irritating when the original Dadaists were doing it in 1920s Montmartre cafes as it is now.

The drama group twattery of an EP entitled We Who Feel Our Lobes of Penitence Groped By Things With Petrol Claws is about as edgy and avant garde as a white-gloved mime artist doing trapped-in-the-glass-box in your face whilst you try to pay for groceries. And about as welcome.

The band hail from Dublin, a city which, thanks to the misguided Mother Records project of the late eighties, already endured a plague of guitar bands with a similar eagerness to display the crackling intensity of their leftbrain randomness through the medium of the Wacky Bandname (An Emotional Fish or Ghost of an American Airman, anyone?). With a blustering promise to 'fight the forces which drag rock and roll down to safe and reliable grounds' using 'solos sharp 'n' fast as a ninja wielding a machete and hulking stoner riffs threatening terrifying brute force', it is a pity that the actual music is not wholly convincing.

the medium of the Wacky Bandname

It's competent, certainly. Dual lead guitar solos remind of Thin Lizzy (appropriate, considering who they're supporting in a few days), but just a little too much. Bored, laconic backing chants convey the atonal angst of Belly or Sonic Youth, but again, the effect is contrived. It's all too postured, too studied.

Tara McCormack's angular aggressive vocals are doubtless backed up with a commanding stage-presence. There are almost certainly ripped tights and smudged kohl eyes involved, but the conviction needed to carry off a line such as 'I like to party, but I also like to fight' or 'never gonna work a nine-to-five' ( a cover of Millions of Dead Cops' 'I Hate Work') is utterly absent.

Punk, if it is to be anything other than an embarrassing relic, needs to be written and performed from a sense of absolute honesty and commitment. Without that, it becomes cringeworthy, touristic, Kim Wilde singing 'Kids of America'.

The concept, neatly put in the press release, is : 'even if you've heard it all before, you haven't heard it all at once'. And nor is it a bad concept. But for a band who embrace irony so tightly, the biggest irony is that the quest for an unrestricted free-form plundering of all that is great about rock, punk and dance music becomes restrictive in itself.

the pyrotechnic axe-wizardry of metal, the chundering drums of dance, and the infantile personal politics of punk

Cramming in the pyrotechnic axe-wizardry of metal, the chundering drums of dance, and the infantile personal politics of punk leave little room in the songs for anything of the band's own sound to develop. Yes, the mishmash is their USP, but it's not always compelling.

The clever-clever, roleplaying aspect of the concept is its core failing, along with a vocalist who seems to have spent more time working up a riot grrl persona than actually looking over the clunky GCSE rebel lyrics she's singing: 'what are these codes of conduct that we almost learn and, what are these laws that we almost observe?'

Harsh? Perhaps too much so. 'This is not a dignified way to make a living' has a bouncy momentum to it which, with so many elements interrupting the flow (drone backing vocals, guitar solos, a disjointed chorus) should really fall apart. 'My Ebola' also mashes a number of discrete elements and tempo shifts, chucking in a tongue-in-cheek guitar solo to finish. But both tracks have a manic allure that is impossible to resist.

exuberant, ballsy and unapologetic

The allure is in the energy, and the positivity of sticking to a musical approach that has its flaws, certainly, but which is nevertheless exuberant, ballsy and unapologetic. What the band need is some serious stage-time; the crucible intensity of a few suspicious, jaded audiences to galvanise the band dynamic and put some properly-earned aggressive attitude into those lead vocals.

If Vengeance and the Panther Queen acquit themselves with honours on May 17th at Whelan's in Dublin, (playing support to a Lynnot-less Thin Lizzy and a Slash-less Guns 'n' Roses) that will put the necessary swagger in their step. It could be a long time before they play a tougher gig, and it could be exactly the thing to turn a good act into a great one.

We Who Feel Our Lobes of Penitence Groped By Things With Petrol Claws is out on May 28th
http://www.vengeanceandthepantherqueen.com/

Monday 14th May - Brighton, UK - The Hope
Tuesday 15th May – London, White Heat at Madam Jojo’s – stage time 9.30pm

Tickets

NinjaTune also announce the release of a retrospective of Tobin's music in a seven CD, two DVD box set, available from May 21st

 

NEW ALBUM – CENTIPIDE Hz – Monday 3rd September 2012 (UK)/Tuesday 4th September 2012 (US)

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